Day 23 The flight away from home was never easy.

Despite the fact that I didn't enjoy my stay in China this time as much as before for various reasons, the flight away from home wasn't any easier.

The weather was hot and humid in Dalian. Girls wore half transparent tops that were loose and light and flew around as they walked. When the sun shined through it, you could see the outline of a bra and a tummy. Girls here always wore bras no matter how hot it got.

Almost all women owned a UV protected umbrella. I had my hands at my eye level when I walked the streets in downtown district umbrellaless. That's when I realized the advantage of having one. Not only it created a shaded area, it was also a tiny personal space where you could avoid bumping shoulders and sweaty arms with strangers and having your eyes poked by other umbrellas.

Grandfather
The writing brush, ink stick, paper and inkslab, which were the traditional implements and materials for writing and painting are called collectively as four treasures of the study.

while I was packing the night before the flight, grandfather called me over to his room and showed me a brand new set of “four treasures of the study”.

"Take it with you." He said and stuffed them in my hands.
"No,"I struggled with the weight of the box, "I have no use of them. Why don't you replace those poor brushes that are old and wore out and desperately needed a retirement with these ones." I pointed to his desk.
"They are still good. I don't need to use the new brushes."
"But I don't even know how to use them. You should keep it until you decide to throw away the old ones."
That's when he said abruptly, "What if I am not here anymore."

I was not sure why he said that. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't say anything else. I didn't take his "four treasures of the study", either. It would always remind me of what he said that day if I did, "What if I am not here anymore." If grandfather was not here anymore, the world certainly wouldn't be the same old world to me.
It scared me how he anticipate and talk about death like that.

Grandmother
For as long as I could remember, grandmother had knee problems. It had gotten a lot worse this time. It was killing me to see her struggle to walk from kitchen to living room, living room to bedroom. When she walked, she had to hold on to her walking stick with one hand and a wall or a furniture with the other. When there is no wall or furniture, she dragged a chair for support with each step she took.

She struggled to stand up, struggled to sit down. But she refused to ask any of us to fetch things for her. When I came to visit her one morning, I saw her trying to hang cloth in the front yard. The strings were a lot higher than her. I asked her why she didn't ask my cousin, who sat in front of his computer all day, to do it for her. She proudly showed me how she put the hanger on top of the stick and used the stick to reach higher than she normally could.

"You see," she said, "I don't need anyone's help."

When I left, I thought grandmother was prepared to not see me again. At least that's what I saw in her eyes. At the door, after I gave her a hug and said goodbye to her, I told her to stay there. She said OK. When I started to walk towards the gate, she followed. As we headed down hill to the main street to get a cab, I turned and saw her outside the gate walking slowly towards us. I knew it hurt a lot more when she walked down hills. I ran back to tell her to go back. This is when she looked at me like she was prepared to never see me again and said, "This little person is leaving again."

Day 3, Day 4

Day 3
Today is, for lack of better words, strange.
When I called my boyfriend, he sounded like he was on the edge of breaking down.
I asked him what's wrong.
He seemed utterly surprised at my question.
"How can you tell there is something going on in my mind?” he said.

Can’t he hear his own voice? I wonder.

Because of the strange phone call at the end of the day, I forgot most of the things that happened today.
They will slowly come back to me when I go over the pictures later on.

Day 4
One of my two coworkers that were here with me flew back to LA this morning. The other went to work early. Since I walked to the office by myself, I had my camera in my hand hoping that I could see a SMART on the road and take a picture of it. While I was walking, a GIGANTIC Mercedes’ truck pulled over and stopped next to me. The driver looked at me, smiled over-dramatically and gestured to spit into his hands first, then used them to pull back his hair, and arranged his eye brows. I was shocked first by the size of the truck, then by his gestures. I didn't know what to do. After a brief hesitation, I waved at him. He pretended to look a little upset then he pointed to my camera and did a air camera pose. That’s when I realized what he was trying to do so I gladly took this picture. He drove off satisfied afterwards. So rare to see a German this animated.

I also saw this sign on the way to work. I don't know the words. But anything that involves sizes of condoms is destined to be funny. So I took this picture and ask a coworker for translation.
As it turned out, these words meant"For dreamers, realistic and show offs. "
At the bottom is another line of text. I asked him to read that to me.
"You should get one." he said.
"I should get one?"
"No…."
"Ohoh...” I interrupted, "You mean you should get one.” I pointed at him.
"That’s what it says." he answered while his face was turning red in embarrassment.


I took pleasure in embarrassing nice people including....especially the ones that are nice enough to help me.
No wonder the boy friend said he needed to subscribe nice pills for me.

Day Two

This is strange. I will tell you why.
Last time we saw each other, we were in fifth grade. Students from our elementary school used to be able to go to a pretty good junior high school. But right before we were about to be upgraded to junior high, they changed the system and we would be sent to a different junior high school if we had stayed with them. Lots of students transferred to other schools upon hearing this news. He was one of them. (He seemed a little hurt that I didn't remember the exact year he transferred. I thought it was 6th grade.)

I know him a little better than other boys in elementary school because we used to participate in writing competitions together. At the competition, we would go into this room with 20 other people, then we were handed a piece of paper with the topic of the essay and rules on it. Then we would start writing away for about an hour or so. Now that I think about it, writing under time pressure wasn't really a good practice for students at that age. As a side affect, I talked fast and unclearly since my brain was used to be forced to get things out quickly.

15 Years later, this Monday, we decided to meet under the big statue in the city center square. He was a little skeptical about my ability to find the place. I didn't blame him because when my co-worker asked me how I could recognize him. I answered, "Can’t be too hard. He is short and chubby." The coworker looked at me wide eyed.

Of course he is not short and chubby anymore. (and I didn't have problems getting around, either.) But I was able to pick him out from the crowd in the park from far away. Same as he was in elementary school he carried himself in a way that's far more mature and elegant than guys his age. Also, he is THE only Asian guy in the park.

When we met, we spoke as if we had been speaking to each other frequently during the years, as if we never parted our ways.
I was glad he didn't ask me any of the generic questions people usually asked at a reunion like this. After losing contact for
15 years, we were quite comfortable at each other's company....well. I knew at least I was comfortable.

Considering the circumstances, trying to get over a jetlag in this 87 degrees and 100% humidity weather, I actually ate a lot and laughed even more. I had a good time(89%). we spent quite a long time trying to figure out what to order at a cheesy Chinese restaurant coz neither of us is good at making decisions and neither of us know the other person's likes and dislikes and neither of us wants to dictate the ordering process.

After I got into the cab at the end of the night, he had a serious look on his face and then he told me that he had just memorized the license plate number of the cab. In case I go missing, that is.:D:D

On the way back, I pictured myself kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of this cab. Then I pictured him go to the police station and gave them the license plate number and a sketch of my face. (He used to be good at drawing. I hoped he still was and could put together a somewhat accurate sketch of me.) After looking up the information, I pictured the police officer wore a grief look on his face, the kind anchor person wore when some one important died, and told him it was too late and... And then I pictured him walked back home and called my boyfriend in LA and told him about my last dinner event.....

I guess I smiled when I imagined my tragic death because the cab driver turned and asked me,” You like Stuttgart, lady?"

Lady? Did he call me lady?

Day One

June 25th 6:45pm Airplane food. Pasta or Chicken?

It was interesting sitting next to the bathroom on the airplane and watching all the traffic going in and out of there.
It goes without saying that there is usually a long line after they serve food and drinks. But who would think there was also a high volume of traffic before they started serving food. People rushed into the bathroom as soon as the food and drink cart made its initial appearance at the beginning of the aisle.


7:20pm I start to miss you.

After getting over the initial discomfort of airplane seats and after two orange juices, one chicken and rice dinner, I started to miss you.
With my third orange juice, I got an extra cup of ice. I was glad that I listened to you and brought beef jerky and Jamaican rum with me.
I broke into chuckles several times on the plane when I thought of our silly good bye moments. We both said, I love you, too. doh~

In the bathroom, I realized that I was equipped with The Craig. I was wearing the T shirt your sister gave me. and the necklace you wore almost everyday was now on my neck. I was about to eat your Jamaican spicy bun as soon as I finished washing my hands and got out of here. I was reminded of you, constantly.
In the bathroom, I also realized that there was no way some people had had sex in this tiny compartment. No way.


JUn 26th 4:50pm It is so unfair that I lost 9 hours.

German bathrooms are tricky. When I sat on the toilet seat in the hotel, I found my legs dangling. I literately had to jump off the toilet seat after I finished. When I got out of the shower, I almost tripped because I miscalculated the height of the bath tub. It was a lot higher than what I was used to, A LOT HIGHER. I need to get used to bathrooms that are built for giants.

9:00pm The sun is still up.

9 o'clock here seems like 5 o'clock in LA. Those Germans are so lucky. Get out of work at 5pm and have another 4 hours of daylight to walk around or lay out in the park before sunset.

Do you know in big parking structures they reserve the parking spots close to the elevator for women? That's so awfully thoughtful of them~~

11pm They stayed up all night last night drinking.

I stayed up all night last night on the plane. They are gonna go down to the bar to drink more. I am gonna go pass out. I have been up for 22 hours. But it is strange going to sleep without talking to you.

A Long Way To China

From LA to Stuttgart.
Stuttgart to Beijing. Beijing to Dalian. Be home around July 5th.