Oreos...Milk's Favorite Cookie

Today, I decided to be a bad girl.
So I skipped Yoga class and went to the super market and bought a bag of OREO cookies and hot coco mix with mashmallow.

I blame it on the little boy in the TV commercial. The one in which the cute little boy dips an Oreo into a tall glass of milk, looks into the camera and says, " Have you notice how an Oreo tends to make milk disappear."

Everytime I see this commercial on TV, I feel compelled to put my fingers on these Oreos!

My Period Came

My period finally came.. Yay!
It is 2 weeks late.
I rang up my doctor last Friday," My period hasn't come this month. I wonder if there is something wrong with me. The last time this happened was when I moved here from China in March and I had to adjust to the warm weather and stuff like that."
Doctor, "Do you want to come to my office? We can do a quick pregnancy test."
Me," pregnancy test? I don't think I am pregnant though."
Doctor," Are you sure?"
Me,"Can you get pregnant from a public swimming pool?"
"No." he chuckled. (Doctors are not suppose to chuckle! and I was not trying to be funny.) "It could be stress from work."
Me, "Stress? I have no stress. Work has been slow lately."
Doctor,"People get stressed out from sudden decline of workload."
Me, "No kidding?!"
Doctor,"Yes. People get stressed out from boredom. You can come in for a quick check up if you want to. Otherwise, just try to relax. Don't stay up too late and drink lots of water."

After I hang up the phone, I made a note to remind myself to buy scented candles after work.
(You know, the ones that says "Calm" or something like it on the label.)
While I was lightening up candles later that night, I couldn't help thinking how sweet it would be if there was a boy I liked and he was here right then. A boy can help me relax much better than scented candles.
The thought of that and the possibility of never finding "the boy" got me all worked up again. I start to picture myself dying a lonly death. And no one found out about my dead body until couple weeks later. and when they did find it, no one could identify it...etc.. I grew more and more anxious as my imagination went wild. In the end, I didn't become as relaxed as I was supposed to be. But for some reason, my period decided to come,eventually, which is good, I mean, very good. so I am all jolly and happy now.......... Yay!

I Am Such A Push Over!

I agreed on a quick take out at Quizno's coz I was tired from working all day. but it somehow turned out to be a dinner at El Pollo Inka with live(LOUD!) music and a 15 minutes wait before we got our table.
I was gonna have a movie night at the comfort of my home and maybe go to bed early. But I found myself driving TO home in the middle of the rain at 1:30 in the morning after seeing at least three yellow flood warning signs within 5 miles.
I am such a push over. Neither of these would have happened if I am a little better at saying NO. My ex boyfriend is an expert at saying NO. Why didn't I learn anything from him? I wonder...

I am not picking on my ex boyfriend! It is a compliement. and so what if I picked on them. That's the only thing they are good for. To be picked on.

A Flashback I had This Morning.

Before he got into the car, he stopped to looked at me, smiling mildly.
I hesitated to stop, a little embarrassed.
He motioned to speak leaning forward ever so slightly.
Me. Waiting.
His face darkened by the shadow of the bright headlights.
He spoke nothing.
His eyes linger on my face, soften me.
I tried to make out the time. But he seemed timeless.
Then he turned and went into the car.

The next time I see him. He is a different man.

A Quarter of My Wisdom....Gone

Yep!! I had one of my wisdom teeth pulled this past Monday.
Afterwards, the doctor showed me the tooth and asked me,

"Do you want to keep it? I can wrap it up for you."
"No." I turned my face in disguise, "Please, take it away from me."

Later that day, I asked my housemate, "Who wants to keep their dead teeth around?"
He responded, "I did! I kept all four of my wisdom teeth after I had them pulled. Only I can't find them now. But......" He added with a big grin, " I know for sure they are somewhere in my room."

Yikes!!! Can't believe I am sharing a house with a teeth keeper~~ yikes yikes...

Listening.......

Lebanese Blonde by Thievery Corporation...

Too low to find my way
Too high to wonder why
I've touched this place before
Somewhere in another time
Now I can hear the sun
The clouds drifting through the blinds
A half a million thoughts
Are flowing through my mind.

Garden State

I like Zach's comments about home.
He said something like you reach to a certain age and you realize that the idea of home is gone. There is this place where you put all of your stuff in. But it is not really your home. It's like you miss this place that doesn't exist anymore. You can no longer call your parents' place your home. Until one day, you start your own family, then this new family become your home.

I like this comment because although I have realize the same thing myself, I think many people have, but I don't hear people say it out loud very often. This is for the first time, I think, I hear someone say it in a very honest, genuine, non sarcastic way.

I did miss home a lot when I first came here. I went to sleep cry almost every night during the first week. But it eventually hit me that home is forever behind me or even better, the idea of my home went *puff* into the air.... That's when I don't feel homesick anymore. That's when I really start to enjoy my life here without that funny feeling in my heart. the feeling that there is a string attached to my heart and someone pull it ever so slightly now and then is gone. To realize that I am completely on my own and there is no home to fall back on is scary but liberating.

Another thing I like about this movie is the idea of being totally original and unique. I truly believe everyone is very very unique deep inside. But we don't let it out very often. We are so afraid to be the odd ones. I don't need to be unique. I just want to be my original self. But it is so hard to shake off all of the pretentious crap off me.

Then there is this lying part about Sam, the girl character in the movie. I lie about unimportant facts in my life as well. I don't know why. I just like to alter things here and there, all totally harmless, when I answer people questions. I guess I do it so one will never know who I really am. That's how I protect myself I guess. And to confess is my way of accepting this person in my life.

and I also like the simplicity of the colors in this movie. It helps me focus on the personality of the characters, understand the messages, and capture the soul of the movie.

There is nothing in this movie that makes me go, "wow~~ I have never heard that before!"
I didn't see anything totally mindblowingly new.
This movie is more like an echo in the valley. I thought of these things in my mind, but this is the first time to hear these thoughts being played back to me.
This movie is just very very real. That's all I have to say. After watching the movie, I felt like I've spent the entire Friday morning talking to an old friend.

And may you never love in vain

and in my heart you will remain
Forever Young, Forever Young

And may sunshine and happiness
surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you'd have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young

Got this song in the email for Chinese New Year.
This is just plain SWEET.
Nothing could be more appropriate than this song on this day of the year....

May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven
with a prince or a vagabond

And when you finally fly away
I'll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose
I'm right behind you, win or lose
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young ,Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young
For, Forever Young, Forever Young

I wish all of my friends and all the random readers that come across this blog
a very happy New Year.

No matter where you are in the world,
or how difficult life seems to be at this moment(yes, I am talking about you and you, too),
I hope you will always find confidence in yourself and never give up on your dreams.

You will be forever young and strong and full of hopes in my heart~

Love you all!!

MJ

Check out what my mom got me for Chinese New Year!

Last night, I called to say Happy Chinese New Year to the whole family.
Then I asked my mom, "so, where is my red envelop?"
"Don't worry!!" she said, sounding all cheerful, "It is already in your email! I gave you a big one this year!"

so I checked my email and this is what she got me:



CNY
Is she cute or what?

Not My Normal Saturday Routine

Because today is a very productive day.

I got up around 10am, which is considered very early for a weekend. After dumping two weeks of dirty laundry to the washer, around 11am, I set off to buy breakfast. Bought smoothie, bread, pesto spread, cereal, milk, orange juice, spinach pasta, pasta sauce, fish fillets, tomatoes and apples. It's a week's supply of fruits and breakfast. After loading the groceries to the car, a lovely lady volunteered to take my cart and return it for me. And she even gave me a smile and told me very sincerely to have a nice day.. I was a little overwhelmed.... Maybe it is the super bowl weekend spirit.. Who knows....hehe...

I came back around 12. Just in time to move my cloth from the washer to the dryer. I can't make up my mind on what to eat for breakfast so I ate a little bit of everything. The pesto sauce is really yummy. BUt! What's yummier is Ethan Hawk on Gattaca. Yeah, Gattaca was shown again on TV. This is the third or forth time I watched this movie. I can't get enough of it.

At 2:15, I met up with a friend to go shopping at Ikea. I bought shelves for T shirts and sweaters, and hangers for shoes. My closet will finally be organized. :D I also bought dry flowers for the bathroom. They are in pale yellow and white. I made sure it is not too flowery or colorful for my male housemate that shares a bathroom with me.

Around 5pm, we went to long beach to pick up my book. I am so dumb. I accidentally sent my order to my previous address. (Amazon doesn't allow me to delete old shipping addresses.) I had to write the current residence a letter to explain the situation. Luckily, the current residence is a very nice gal so we arranged a pick up on Saturday.

Today is the opening of a friend's friend's gallery. My friend's work is showing at this gallery in Long Beach. We decided to come and check it out. We arrived around 6pm. It's one thing to take pictures with your Nikon camera, it is another thing to see it hanging on the wall of a gallery with a price tag. My friend's photos are at the center of the gallery. A copy of her photograph called flight attendances was already sold. "400 bucks," She kept whispering to me. "I can not believe someone paid 400 bucks for my photograph! That's insane!"

This gallery exhibits photographs from seven artists. Most of them are part time photographers. I really liked photos by this guy called Tod. His photograph turned the old abandoned door frames into something truly beautiful. His colored photos have an earth tone that makes me feel calm and grounded. He gave me the same feeling in person, too.

The only professional photographer in this exhibition is Yoshi Hashimoto. He is the photographer that documented the final days of the Lexington Hotel, where Al Capone used to live. He was given exclusive photographic access to the interior of the building and continued shooting until the day before the demolition began.

He made the photographs of the Lexington Hotel into a photo album. While I was sitting down and going through the photo album, he introduced himself and started to explain the stories behind each photo and pointed out details that were otherwise easily overlooked. These photos were taken in 1995, close to ten years ago. He still seemed to be able to recall lots of details about the event. and he handled the photo album with great passion.

I'd like to stay longer but I was hungry and tired. We left around 8pm. we drove back to Torrance and went to a Raman place. We each had a bowl of Raman. Yummy.......I finished mine very quickly and sat and listened to my friend bitch about work.... Venting puts her into a good mood as food does for me.

got home around......Don't know.... 10 or 11pm. After I carried all the bags from Ikea up a hundred stairs and into my apartment, I found....This is the best part of the day, a pot of burning red tulips sitting outside of my bedroom door, a welcom gift from my roommates. And there is a card. yeah, I am gonna go read it now. nighty night~~~

客 愁

移 舟 泊 烟 渚，
日 暮 客 愁 新。
野 旷 天 低 树,
江 清 月 近 人。

今 日, 无端想起了这几句诗. 古人作诗, 说是无端,便是有端. 会去想到野 旷天低 树, 江清月近人这样的玲珑景致,也是因为近日有的人要来,有的人要走. 几个星期没联系的人,一通电话,发现对方竟然已经在了西雅图. 说是刚刚开始新的工作. 惊愕之下,竟然忘了问人家是在何处高就. 若得别人笑我糊涂.
那 个本来以为再也回不来的人, 居然没几个星期就要来了. 从别处辗转听到这个消息,一时之下, 也不知道该作何感想. 倒真是应了世事难料四个字.
说到底我们都是客居, 要来要走, 也只能随它去了. 近来常读山水一派的诗, 那种淡喜淡悲淡出淡入的生活态度渐渐深得我心.

I feel like my life is slowly draining away living in monterey park during the past 12 month. I managed an escape last weekend before I am reduced to a lifeless shell.

i like chinese people. i like spending time with them, amongst them. but living in monterey park didn't work for me.

there is a huge language barrier. most people in monterey park speak cantonese, in resturants, supermarkets, bookstores...EVERYWHERE.
my cantonese gets me as far as Hello and thank you. (and they have two different ways to say thank you. i was never able to tell the differences.)

i feel illiterated, and very foreign in monterey park.

Second Morning at Redondo

8:15am. i forgot to close the window last night. the wind blows a little chilly in my bedroom.

8:16am. still hiding under the comforter and blankets. eyes fixed on the alarm clock while trying to use my mental power to stop the needles from moving.....so fast.

8:30am. finally get out of bed, push open my bedroom door and into the living room. both of my roommates are gone for work. bright sun lights quietly shine through the wall sized window and flourish the living room floor. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over. I have to take a step back and spend a moment to take all of this in. I am not exaggerating if I say i feel exhilarate and vibrant standing in my pajamas in this living room.....of this new apartment, new city.....with this new life....
Changes did me good!!

on the way to work, i find myself singing along to "Phantom of the opera"

Think of me,
think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye.

Remember me
once in a while
please promise me you'll try.
When you find that, once again,
you long to take your heart back and be free.......

We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me