"I saw the map of his goatee, the grand plan of it."

When I read this line in a book, I can't help laughing out loud. I just have to stop doing my homework and point it out to everyone:
I know exactly what she meant, the map of a goatee, because it is in my face almost every day of my life.
My boyfriend, the boy with a big plan, is growing his goatee.
and he is determined to follow through it.

He has the top and the bottom part of the goatee all grown out. Both ends of top and bottom parts grow towards the opposite direction on the sides of his mouth until they were about to connect with on another. That's when the growing stopped. It has been like that for months now. You can tell both parts are itching to touch the opposite side. But no one wants to make the first move.

He waits patiently.People in my life
and
He spends more and more time in the bathroom. It takes him the same amount of time on shaving/trimming as an average person would spend on an average shower.

Last month, when he started to worry about what he should get for my birthday two months ahead of time, I told him he could get rid of his incomplete goatee as a gift because I was sick of his mustache getting all of his attention.

The horror I saw on his face!!
(and No was the answer.)

As of today, the shrewd, incomplete goatee is still teasing and tormenting both of us, for different reasons.

Will it be too evil of me to shave them all off while he is sleeping?

From the contemplating girl friend