Day 23 The flight away from home was never easy.

Despite the fact that I didn't enjoy my stay in China this time as much as before for various reasons, the flight away from home wasn't any easier.

The weather was hot and humid in Dalian. Girls wore half transparent tops that were loose and light and flew around as they walked. When the sun shined through it, you could see the outline of a bra and a tummy. Girls here always wore bras no matter how hot it got.

Almost all women owned a UV protected umbrella. I had my hands at my eye level when I walked the streets in downtown district umbrellaless. That's when I realized the advantage of having one. Not only it created a shaded area, it was also a tiny personal space where you could avoid bumping shoulders and sweaty arms with strangers and having your eyes poked by other umbrellas.

Grandfather
The writing brush, ink stick, paper and inkslab, which were the traditional implements and materials for writing and painting are called collectively as four treasures of the study.

while I was packing the night before the flight, grandfather called me over to his room and showed me a brand new set of “four treasures of the study”.

"Take it with you." He said and stuffed them in my hands.
"No,"I struggled with the weight of the box, "I have no use of them. Why don't you replace those poor brushes that are old and wore out and desperately needed a retirement with these ones." I pointed to his desk.
"They are still good. I don't need to use the new brushes."
"But I don't even know how to use them. You should keep it until you decide to throw away the old ones."
That's when he said abruptly, "What if I am not here anymore."

I was not sure why he said that. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't say anything else. I didn't take his "four treasures of the study", either. It would always remind me of what he said that day if I did, "What if I am not here anymore." If grandfather was not here anymore, the world certainly wouldn't be the same old world to me.
It scared me how he anticipate and talk about death like that.

Grandmother
For as long as I could remember, grandmother had knee problems. It had gotten a lot worse this time. It was killing me to see her struggle to walk from kitchen to living room, living room to bedroom. When she walked, she had to hold on to her walking stick with one hand and a wall or a furniture with the other. When there is no wall or furniture, she dragged a chair for support with each step she took.

She struggled to stand up, struggled to sit down. But she refused to ask any of us to fetch things for her. When I came to visit her one morning, I saw her trying to hang cloth in the front yard. The strings were a lot higher than her. I asked her why she didn't ask my cousin, who sat in front of his computer all day, to do it for her. She proudly showed me how she put the hanger on top of the stick and used the stick to reach higher than she normally could.

"You see," she said, "I don't need anyone's help."

When I left, I thought grandmother was prepared to not see me again. At least that's what I saw in her eyes. At the door, after I gave her a hug and said goodbye to her, I told her to stay there. She said OK. When I started to walk towards the gate, she followed. As we headed down hill to the main street to get a cab, I turned and saw her outside the gate walking slowly towards us. I knew it hurt a lot more when she walked down hills. I ran back to tell her to go back. This is when she looked at me like she was prepared to never see me again and said, "This little person is leaving again."