To Be Optimistic Or Not?

"Jeff and i had felt more than promising, but the vapor evaporated like water in a vase that kept the flowers blooming, but never was refilled.

I remember the feelings with joy and not pain, because I enjoy remembering. it is winter. spring is coming, and soon it will be summer.

i can already feel the warmth penetrate through me. I can taste the texture of the passion that awaits. I am here, I am ready and it is coming."

This is an ending of a book about the dating experiences of a 45 years old woman, a book full of bad dates, that is.
My friend raised his head after reading two magazines and caught me reading the last few pages of the book.
"why did you jump to the end?" he asked with a smirk,” does it have a happy ending?"

"No. she is dumped by a guy who she had dated for 6 month the day before New Year’s Eve. But she seems optimistic...." before my voice trailed off, the person that asked the question was deep in his own reading again, leaving me staring blankly into the wall.

"Optimistic," I thought to myself, "Is it foolish to be optimistic?"

My roommate once asked me,” what do you do to help yourself through the day? Do you drink coffee? tea? Eat snacks?"
"No." I said, "I just drink lots of water."

I want to feel real emotions. A cup of coffee may make me feel better when I am tired, sleepy, or bored in the afternoon. But the truth is that it is not coffee I need. What I need is to exercise more, sleep longer, eat healthier or challenge myself more at work. So I try to stay away from that cup of coffee to focus on the real problems.

Therefore, I am especially skeptical when it comes to optimism.
How do I know life is always improving?
How do I know optimism is not the cup of coffee that only help us get through life, but doesn't change any cold hard facts in our lives.
How do I know it is not an illusion I create for myself when the real problem is in me.
Even worse, being optimistic keeps our hopes up, expectations high. But when things don't work out, we are left feeling more disappointed than ever.

So instead of being optimistic about life, maybe we should accept life as it is: not everyone can lead a fulfilling and meaningful life; not everyone can find the right person. True, some people have found their soul mates, but it may not happen to all of us.

Telling people to be optimistic is as irresponsible as telling kids that life is fair when it really is not. So let's be strong and accept the fact that it is possible that we might fail in the end no matter how hard we have tried. It is possible and we've gotta be ready for that.