What Went Wrong

Mom said she searched for answers but she still doesn't know what went wrong. It just happened.
But why us? I don't know.
But I can live with it. I can live with anything. Memories is the root of pain. All I need to do is to forget, to block out these unpleasent memories from time to time.
But it breaks my heart to see mom trying so hard to find reasons in all this, to figure out what went wrong.
Maybe it is fate, mom. If believing in fate makes it easier for you. All the people that lost their families in the Tsunami. Why them? Fate is our only answer here. No wonder so many people believe in fate coz sometimes if they don't, they can not carry on with their lives.

mom told me over the phone that she sent me an email. I opened it. After realizing what it is about, the rest didn't come as a surprise to me. but i still can not control my tears. I wanna say something, but the only sound i made was the closing of my bedroom door.
"It is OK. " instead of speaking to the phone, mom sent me instant messages, "Life goes on." I tried to say something but stopped coz i can't be sure what my voice will sound like. and I know exactly why mom sent me messages instead of talking to the phone coz just like me, she is also choking on tears.

I just said I could live with anything. but i can't help wondering if other people's lives are easier than ours, me and my parents'.
Can I erase all of my memories and start this life over again? at 25? It is not too late, is it?