The Sorrow

I don't think we ever get over the pain of losing loved ones.
Three years has gone by since my uncle passed away. The pain still comes back now and then to bite me.

i grew up with my grandparents'. my parents visited me twice a year. My memories of them had slowly faded into two tall figures in long wind coats. My younger aunt was living with my grandparents at that time and uncle Guo was her boy friend. Uncle Guo popped by our house almost everyday after work. He played with me in the backyard, took me to rides in amusement parks. sometimes, he showed up with his camera and took me to parks to take pictures of me for my parents. if it rained, he let me ride around on my little bike in the house.
3 to 5 was such a bonding period for a child. even though i moved back with my parents after i started elementary school, uncle Guo was always like a father to me.

5 years ago, shortly after i left China, they found out that he had liver problems. he said he would stop working so hard and he would quit drinking and smoking, etc... and for a while, he was getting better.
but one Saturday morning 3 years ago, my dad called. after a brief chat, he paused briefly, then said "uncle Gou passed away......six month ago."


Until now, i am still mad at them for not letting me know serious the "liver problem" had become, for having waited 6 month to tell me that he was not in this world anymore. (if it was up to my mom, she would have kept me in a the dark even longer.) Sure, i heard about Uncle Guo going in and out of hospitals. but it never cross my mind that it will take his life away. he was too young, just passed 40. it doesn't make sense. But of course, death never make sense. As a friend has said, "Everyone reaches to this point. To some, it comes a little bit early. We just have to accept it."