Call Me Mary Jane

I had a strange dream last night. In my dream, everyone calls me MJ.
Yes, it's that MJ, spiderman's girlfriend, MJ.

While I was brushing my teeth this morning, I wasn't sure if it was a dream or everyone really started to call me MJ now until I got to work. "Good morning, Morgan!" I was greeted by a guy in the company parking lot.

so it was a dream!

but what does this dream mean? does it mean I am not happy with who I am and want to be someone else?
This has never happened before! I'v always liked the girl I turned out to be. At least I think I like it.
Maybe I subconsciously want to be that red haired girl who is rescued by spiderman over and over again. or Maybe I just wanna be rescued! Just image! Everytime I fall, Spiderman will show up and pick me right up. Every time I feel confused and lost, Spiderman will help me see the world more clearly with his super power spider eyes. Everytime I am in danger, Spiderman will beat up the bad guys, then hold me in his arm and tell me everything is OK now. Geez!! How great is that?!

now i am a little ashamed of myself. Fancying about spiderman!?!?! I not a 14 year old anymore!
but how come today the sky seems further away than i last remembered.
how come I feel all the strength was drained from my body which left me feeling just as helpless as i was 10 years ago.
how come.....

I don't want to be stronge and independent all the time. Sometimes I wanna be that red haired girl swinging from building to building in the arms of the spiderman. Funny how, after trying so hard, I find myself back to where I started.

Murakami Haruki said, life is like a merry go round going around and around. He says lots of things. This time he might be right.